Follow the Leader

When I was younger I was definitely a follower.
Scared of my own shadow, I am lucky I picked out my own clothes, let alone make a decision that would impact someone else besides me.
I was shy, insecure and awkward.
I was happy to have someone tell me where to go, what to say, what to do.
I felt like it was how it should be. Who was I to be making such decisions?
So, I followed.
I followed close and without question.
Go the wrong way down a One Way street....sure, why not? You are leading me, so it must be right. I followed.

As I grew older however, I started to question the leader. Why did you go the wrong way down that street?
I still followed, but I questioned the choice.

See, when you doubt yourself and question your right to make your own decisions, you have no choice but to follow. There is no other option.
But, as time went on......
I questioned the Leader.

Maybe if I walk beside.....maybe if I can see where we are going, I won't wonder if the choice was right when we take a wrong turn.
That's growth, right?
Still, I followed.
I questioned, but I followed.

I don't know if it is because I found someone who let me grow beside them and then gave me the chance to contribute to the journey, but I find that I don't follow anymore.

I am no longer "led". I am no longer content to let my destiny depend on someone else's sense of direction.
I lead.
I might not lead anyone but myself most of the time, but I lead.
I do not follow.

I might get myself (or whomever is taking the trip with me) lost, this is true.
But, I do not follow.

I trust that if I make a wrong turn it is because I am meant to see something I didn't know was there.

I might hit road blocks, but I lead.
I am not led.
I do not follow.

Changing Direction

I was going to use this as a means of keeping myself accountable in my efforts to get back to my former self (body wise - the mind is too far gone at this point :).
Hence, the very clever name.
Well, the intent of the blog is changing, however, the name remains the same.
Because at the end of the day, I still wish I could talk God into making warm bread with butter zero calories.
Carbs are both my friend, and my enemy :)

The older I get the more I remember how much I love to write.
I look at the efforts of others and am envious of their ability to cleverly and intelligently put their musings on paper.
I used to do that. I might have even had the beginnings of a talent for it. But, life happened and priorities changed and focus moved from what I wanted to what everyone around me needed.

Blogs are a beautiful thing. Back in my day (spoken like a true parent or elder), blogs were non existent. Ramblings were put in a bound notebook that was "secured" with a bendable key so that pesky brothers or parents wouldn't be the wiser as to who we were in love with that week.
Now, the notebook is a computer, and the key is the password that you have everything protected under.

Technology is something.

Everything changes direction eventually.
Sometimes intentionally, sometimes inherently.
Everything comes down to,

Changing Direction.